grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My bed smells like the plague
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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