Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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