Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So vagazzling was a success
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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