Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
