awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
