We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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