i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
