i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
