i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
