i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
