she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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