Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
