guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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