if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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