You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
