im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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