Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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