walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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