i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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