I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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