you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Randomize
