How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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