She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
