a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
