..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
