when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
