i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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