drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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