Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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