How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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