doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
