guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
