Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
