so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
