And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Randomize
