Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
