dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
