It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
