wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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