i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
