brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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