Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Who died my cat blue again?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
