I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
