they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
