I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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