is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
