i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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