Whod you bang
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
