i just google imaged poop.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Text me some of your sweat
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
