if you like me you must not know who I am
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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