Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
